The Oracle of the Cul-de-Sac - Sixty Minute Veranda Masterclass

1:00 pm It doesn’t get better than this! As I delight in this glorious autumn afternoon, I’m perched on my front porch, nestled in my favourite rocking chair, which is well acquainted with and contoured to my old lady’s posterior. The day is a little chilly, but I’m wrapped in my plaid Snuggle. You know — that blanket with sleeves that everyone wished they’d invented.
My beautiful maple tree stands shamelessly half naked in front of me, showing off the remains of its flaming yellow, orange and red leaves. My imagination gets the best of me, and I can envision them talking to each other. “Hang on boys, here comes another breeze. Hang tight to your branches. Wait! Oh no! There goes Joe. Joe! Look, he’s falling! Oh no. Say it ain’t so Joe. Goodbye Joe. We’ll miss you.”
1:20 pm Quiet. Then, above my head, half a dozen ducks fly over my rooftop. I wave. “Goodbye, guys. Safe flight, and here’s hoping all guns aimed in your general direction jam. And just so you know, if you would just shut up and stop that infernal quacking, maybe the hunters wouldn’t even know you were there. Just sayin’.”

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